An effective way to begin learning how to love the voice for what it truly is, is to see the voice as a separate entity from the singer. The singer who does not value and love every part herself cannot value and love her voice, because the voice is a product of her self. She must learn how to demonstrate this love another way.
If the singer cannot love herself, most likely she CAN love something or someone outside of who she is. This is a very basic human trait we see demonstrated all around us. We can love a person who is outside of us, a horse, a cat, or a dog...or a voice that we give an identity. In order for this to work, we have to really give the voice permission to 'exist'. It can help to name the voice, ask it regularly how it's feeling, ask it what it wants to do, what it needs, and to take care of it. If it is feeling raw, learn to soothe it. If it's out of control, learn to show it peace. If it is ugly because it's been abused, love it first and then learn how to shape it in to something beautiful.
Over time the singer will realize that in separating the voice from herself and learning to love it, she has inadvertently, perhaps magically, started down the road to learning to communicate with, and love, herself.