Sunday, April 18, 2010

Dialogues Part 8

Me: Voice?
Voice: Yes dear
Me: I have a question
Voice: That's what I'm here for, to give you answers.
Me: I know! You always give me the greatest things to think about, the most awesome new knowledge.
Voice: Rebecca?
Me: Yes
Voice: Don't be afraid.
Me: What do you mean?
Voice: You can just ask's okay.
Me: Your to-the-pointedness is amazing.
Voice: What is there but the point of things?
Me: Well, nothing I guess...or at least everything that isn't real is just...less than what's important.
Voice: Good. You know that. And what is it you wanted to ask me?
Me: Well...I wanted to ask you...What IS the point?
Voice: Please be more specific.
Me: What is the point of all of this? I'm an opera singer, talking to you. I talk to my Voice. Isn't that a little bit more than insane? Am I just walking the tightrope between reality and the halfway house? I mean, WHY am I doing this? WHY seek a relationship with you? Why project to the world our deepest conversations, show people how you calm my fears and give me hope? WHY?
Voice: It's a good question.
Me: Tell me about it.
Voice: Let's start with what you already know, what we found out at the beginning of our conversation.
Me: About the point of things?
Voice: Yes. What IS the point of things? We've spoken much about this, in different ways.
Me: Love. Yes...Love.
Voice: And what have you been doing your whole life up until you learned to speak with me?
Me: I've been looking for Love.
Voice: That's very, very good Rebecca. It is excellent that you can put your past in that context. I am very proud of you.
Me: Oh...thanks!
Voice: Do you understand the connotations of this realization? That you were looking for Love, and through speaking with me, you've realized that you've indeed found Love?
Me: Well...yes, I guess...
Voice: Do you really?
Me: Yes. Yes I do.
Voice: It's a huge relief isn't it?
Me: Yes.
Voice: Like coming home, like knowing you're safe, like not being afraid anymore because you know that fear is just a dream and that Love is all there is?
Me: Yes.
Voice: And you found this out how?
Me: Well, by looking for you.
Voice: By looking for Love?
Me: Yes, by looking for Love.
Voice: Now maybe you can answer your own questions.
Me: Hmmm I've got to remember what they were...!
Voice: Why are we doing this? Having these dialogues?
Me: I guess I was wanting to see how Love fits in to singing...kind of testing it to see if Love was really there, or could be there.
Voice: And can it be?
Me: Oh, yes, clearly!
Voice: What makes you so sure?
Me: Well, all this time I've been looking for Love, I was also looking for my Voice.
Voice: And?
Me: It's very strange that I found Love and my Voice at exactly the same time, isn't it?
Voice: Is it strange?
Me: What? You don't think it's strange?
Voice: No, I don't think it's strange. I think it's just right. You found Love is who you are, and you found that your Voice, that I, am who you are. You found out who you are. Who you are, no matter what you do, is never separate from Love. And who you are is never separate from what you do. It makes complete sense to me.
Me: Well, I might need a little time to get that.
Voice: I know, don't worry.
Me: So...
Voice: Hmmm?
Me: Can we just get one thing straight?
Voice: Oh, YES. I love clarity.
Me: Am I calling you by the right name??
Voice: HahaHA! I was wondering when you would ask that question! Why?
Me: Well...if you're Love, all that I am, the purpose and point of my life, the undercurrent of all things, and All Things, the source of my hope and truth and all that...wouldn't you be...GOD???
Voice: Yes.
Me: WHHHHHhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaa...
Voice: *chuckle*
Me: ok I just might freak out
Voice: Why?
Me: Well, I am planning to post this so everybody and their mother can read it: my Voice is God. Yeah...riiiight. That will go over great. They'll be checking my address and doing surveillance and people will be giving donations to keep my off the streets in Europe AND in the USA!
Voice: No they won't.
Me: Well you don't know some of the people I know!
Voice: Oh yes I do.
Me: OH...that's right. I forgot about that. SO YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO LET ME DO THIS!!!
Voice: Oh, I know well enough that you'll do what you want to do anyway.
Me: What do you mean???
Voice: I know that even if this is a mistake, you will learn from it and grow from it.
Me: Do you think it's a mistake? Am I wrong? Am I crazy?
Voice: You are only as crazy as every other human being who has gone out searching for Love and Life's Purpose. Shall I name a few to refresh your memory?
Me: Oh, no! Don't remind me of all of the saints who were killed and the missionaries who...
Voice: They were on their own paths. And you are on yours.
Me: Kinda rocky.
Voice: In Love everything is smooth and as clear and as clean as a whistle.
Me: You got me there. I remember.
Voice: What specifically?
Me: That all is Love, even my mistakes, All is Love, especially what I Do and who I Am.
Voice: So, I do believe you've answered your own question again.
Me: That you are GOD? For reals???
Voice: Well, here we get on shaky ground academically speaking.
Voice: No no no I need no advanced degrees to do my job.
Me: So what do you mean?
VOice: Well, here's where you'll have to be aware that some people don't yet understand the great scope of Love
Me: How so?
Voice: Something stops you when you try to write that your Voice is God, doesn't it?
Me: Yes, you felt that.
Voice: It is, you know.
Me: Is it for real?
Voice: Yes it is. It is real. Love is real. Music is real. Singing is real. You are real. It's all Love.
Me: Sounds kind of flower-childy.
Voice: Your mother raised you well.
Me: Yeah I guess she did...or else she just taught me to hear voices.
Voice: Oh, indeed. She and I talk all the time. But this is about you and me.
Me: Okay...
Voice: So what will it be? Will you take the plunge?
Me: What plunge?
Voice: Oh, you know! Will you shout it from the rooftops? Will you know it in the quietest moments? Will you trust and believe and have faith that I am Love and that in me all is right and good?
Voice: My dear, have courage.
Me: Have courage to WHAT??
Voice: Have the courage to say that this has every single thing to do with singing. Do it. Now.
Me: But people will think...
Voice: I don't care what people will think. I only care what you think.
Voice: Alright what?
Voice: You are letting go of your childish ways. That's good.
Me: If I didn't know you were God I'd tell you to shut up.
Voice: Don't do it. I never shut up even if people ask me to.
Me: No kidding.
Voice: Okay, sweet Rebecca. Now's the time.
Me: I know you're right.
Voice: Do it. Say it.
Me: I--
Voice: Now.
Me: Singing. Is. Love. Life. Is. Love. You. Are. Love. I. Am. Love. God. Is. Love. Love. Is. God. I. Am. Love. I. Am. God.
Voice: Fantastic! One addendum.
Me: Oh, no.
Voice: Wait for it little girl.
Me: Right...patience.
Voice: It felt strange to write you are God. Why?
Me: Well, because I don't always feel it.
Voice: That's because you aren't always living in Love.
Me: Ahhhhh... oh that's too true!
Voice: But that's the thing about Love. It's always there even if you don't feel it. It's always who you truly are, even if you don't believe it. It's always there, even in mistakes and bad things and challenges. Love is all there is.
Me: That will take time to understand, too...
Voice: I know...and I have complete confidence in you. So now, try it in complete sentences.
Me: What?
Voice: Your answers. Say them again.
Me: You are Love. I am Love. God is Love. Singing is Love. Life is Love. All is Love. WOW WOW WOW.
Voice: It's pretty awesome isn't it?
Me: Oh, YES!
Voice: Now do you understand what I've been wanting you to see?
Me: Oh my God, YES!
Voice: Will this change your life?
Me: It already has! You've changed my life!
Voice: Of course I have. I was changing it before you even knew it. I've been helping you grow since before your conception.
Me: You are amazing.
Voice: So are you, dear. So are you.
Me: I love you. Wow. That has a lot of weight now.
Voice: The weight of eternity and infinity combined.
Me: I don't know what to say.
Voice: Just go out and enjoy, and LOVE.
Me: You betcha.
Voice: And Rebecca?
Me: Yep?
Voice: Don't ever forget where you found Love, and where you found your Voice.
Me: Oh, I won't forget.
Voice: Even if you did I'd remind you!
Me: Of course you would!
Voice: Now get outta here!
Me: Wha...?
Voice: Expression of endearment my silly little girl.
Me: Oh...I knew that.
Voice: Go in Love.
Me: I will. I do. I am.
Voice: I am here any time.
Me: Thank you.
Voice: Goodbye my sweet, for now.
Me: I know I will have a lot more questions now!
Voice: Of course you will! If you didn't you wouldn't be you!
Me: Alright I'm really going.
Voice: Good. Love.
Me: Love.


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