For a Wo/Man, The Journey to Voice can be the most heartbreaking, humbling, surprising and, frankly shi**y Path imaginable.
We think singing is something we "get." We think it's a "gift" some of have and some have not. We think we understand and inhabit a technique that is "correct" but doesn't come CLOSE to setting out creative heart free. We think "Someone Else" can give us voice. It is a tangled path, indeed.
We hear our favorite artists sing. They are pouring their feelings out with an abandon that seems impossible to achieve. We get "good grades" and accolades and yet our heart yells: FRAUD.
What to do? WHOM TO BE???
I'll tell you. Right NOW. I will tell you the culmination of EVERY SECRET I'VE EVER LEARNED in my lifetime of learning about singing: Singing, good, fulfilling, life-enriching, amazing, satisfying, in-tune-on-every-level singing, is about BALANCE and TRUTH.
The problem is, this BALANCE and TRUTH are YOURS to find. NO ONE can do it for you.
You can learn it by accident, or you can learn it on purpose<<<
Either way we learn it, this Balance and Truth are paramount.
How will you know it? How do we recognize it?
1. Suddenly Voice seems to GIVE BACK. It seems you've been giving everything to your studies, everything to a career, and pure effort leaves you depleted and exhausted. When you're finding balance, Voice is part of Life/Death Cycle. You "kill yourself" for your Art. You kill Ego. You kill Time. You kill Relationships You Wish You Could Have. You kill desires that differ with your search for Truth. You exhaust yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. But VOICE. GIVES. BACK. And invariably, the more you commit yourself to Voice, the more ALIVE you feel. Voice births You.
2. You care more what Voice thinks than what anyone else thinks. This here's a tough one, until you give in to it. It's doubly hard for a "good student." Let me tell you here: your True Voice will ask you for things no "good student" would ever do. It might ask you to hate your teacher. It might ask you to understand love in a way you never knew. It might ask you to know you learned MORE when you FAILED than you ever did when you WON. Voice'll talk to you in the night. It'll ask you questions you never could guess the answers to, and then She'll hand the answers over in the shower, or when you're doing the dishes. Voice might ask you to NOT SING when everyone else says it's a crime that you not sing. She'll embrace you in the silence, and laugh at you in the noise you create. She'll cut you down, so you can grow in to the person you've always been.
3. You will know that Voice is GOOD, and the Voice. Is. You. This is the real kicker. All the striving, all the doing, all the studies, the practice, the readings, the blood...they all lead back to YOU. There is no hiding. Voice has you, completely. This is both a terrifying and comforting fact, depending on what thoughts you are believing, at any given time. OH YEAH BABY, it's a trip, for sure. It's LIFE, and it's AMAZING.
But what of "Technique?!?"
Oh, Technique. It is the thing we strive for that will set us apart from all the rest. And, when we achieve a balanced and truthful technique, we find that IT MAKES US LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
WHAT?!?
I thought singing was about being "chosen." I thought it was about "sharing a gift" or "honoring the listener" but oh, no. Singing is simply about becoming so achingly human that we can wail out our experience, our newborn's shriek, our most authentic tears, in a way that DOES NOT KILL US.
It's as simple as that.
And so, on the waning end of another academic year, I find myself reflecting on the people I've been teaching to see PAST the VEIL of the assumptions we make about Voice.
I've been reflecting on what it means to not believe the simplistic definitions of Voice--you know, the paradoxical assumptions I've been writing about all along that say "You can do this! You got this! YOU CAN SING!" BEFORE you even know what you're doing. HA!
This paradox is the most painful reality I know because:
YES. YES. You can do it. You ARE a fabulous singer. BUT until you invite Voice into your life in such a way that you can contain ALL of you in a you-sized container--until YOU can see your BEAUTY in bodily form, in a "Vocal-folds-that-are-half-an-inch-long" package, you will never know the how and why of it--you will never be "in control" of your Voice, and of your singing.
I'm thinking back on all those singers who are SO RIGHT in thinking they can sing like "The Greats" if they just do it!
It's true! BUT...you have to learn how to be the CREATOR of all your experience. You have to learn to hold the HAND of Voice. You have to learn to be Its friend and lover, Its confidant and partner. You have to LEARN to SUBMIT to Its discipline.
What does that look like?
It means not stopping the search until EVERYTHING you sing leads to TRUTH.
It means not stopping until you can dig to the deepest guts of you and deliver that experience WITH. A. SMILE.
It means finding Guides Who Know What It Means to Die, and Live, for Voice.
It means connecting to your Earthly Body deeply enough that you can experience your Heavenly Body, in real time--and do it with a satisfied sigh.
But how do I disentangle all of us from the mixed messages, from the incomplete techniques and half truths?
I say:
1. If you are singing with a healthy, life-enriching technique, you will be able to express YourSelf at any and all levels of intensity and frequency.
2. If you are singing with a healthy, life-enriching technique, you will be aware of infinite options, of freedom of expression that will align IMMEDIATELY and IN REAL TIME of the Music.
3. If you are singing with a healthy, life-enriching technique, there will be no "absolutes." Head Voice will melt into Chest Voice until YOU. ARE. SUNG. and no one can define how--except the sounds you are making are "YOU." They are in balance. They are True.
So, that's It. That's All.
Don't stop until you can hold you with all the awe and frustration with which Voice does--for She LOVES YOU--oh, yes, She does.
And Heaven Knows, She wants YOU to Be YOU.
AMEN and HALLELUJAH!
Woot
WOOT!
Do. Be. Do. Be. Do.
©2019 From the Heart School
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