No.62

There is always more Love to give, and always more Love to be.

For Today, a Bit of Kahlil Gibran

"God has made many doors opening into truth which He opens to all who knock upon them with hands of faith."

Thank you, great Sage!

No. 61: On Friends

A friend is someone you can meet in Love. Even if only for an instant, the veil has been lifted and you both know what it's all about between you. You know, Love knows, the Universe knows...and then your speech becomes laughter and your breath becomes embraces...and Heaven smiles on Earth. Thank you Bonnie, for everything.

No. 60

When you've found your Love, you've found the only place where it makes sense to run. Nowhere else can you run and not stop, and never arrive, yet always be where you are supposed to be. Nowhere else is the Way the Goal. Nowhere else are you truly free.

Dialogues Part 8

Me: Voice?
Voice: Yes dear
Me: I have a question
Voice: That's what I'm here for, to give you answers.
Me: I know! You always give me the greatest things to think about, the most awesome new knowledge.
Voice: Rebecca?
Me: Yes
Voice: Don't be afraid.
Me: What do you mean?
Voice: You can just ask me...it's okay.
Me: Your to-the-pointedness is amazing.
Voice: What is there but the point of things?
Me: Well, nothing I guess...or at least everything that isn't real is just...less than what's important.
Voice: Good. You know that. And what is it you wanted to ask me?
Me: Well...I wanted to ask you...What IS the point?
Voice: Please be more specific.
Me: What is the point of all of this? I'm an opera singer, talking to you. I talk to my Voice. Isn't that a little bit more than insane? Am I just walking the tightrope between reality and the halfway house? I mean, WHY am I doing this? WHY seek a relationship with you? Why project to the world our deepest conversations, show people how you calm my fears and give me hope? WHY?
Voice: It's a good question.
Me: Tell me about it.
Voice: Let's start with what you already know, what we found out at the beginning of our conversation.
Me: About the point of things?
Voice: Yes. What IS the point of things? We've spoken much about this, in different ways.
Me: Love. Yes...Love.
Voice: And what have you been doing your whole life up until you learned to speak with me?
Me: I've been looking for Love.
Voice: That's very, very good Rebecca. It is excellent that you can put your past in that context. I am very proud of you.
Me: Oh...thanks!
Voice: Do you understand the connotations of this realization? That you were looking for Love, and through speaking with me, you've realized that you've indeed found Love?
Me: Well...yes, I guess...
Voice: Do you really?
Me: Yes. Yes I do.
Voice: It's a huge relief isn't it?
Me: Yes.
Voice: Like coming home, like knowing you're safe, like not being afraid anymore because you know that fear is just a dream and that Love is all there is?
Me: Yes.
Voice: And you found this out how?
Me: Well, by looking for you.
Voice: By looking for Love?
Me: Yes, by looking for Love.
Voice: Now maybe you can answer your own questions.
Me: Hmmm I've got to remember what they were...!
Voice: Why are we doing this? Having these dialogues?
Me: I guess I was wanting to see how Love fits in to singing...kind of testing it to see if Love was really there, or could be there.
Voice: And can it be?
Me: Oh, yes, clearly!
Voice: What makes you so sure?
Me: Well, all this time I've been looking for Love, I was also looking for my Voice.
Voice: And?
Me: It's very strange that I found Love and my Voice at exactly the same time, isn't it?
Voice: Is it strange?
Me: What? You don't think it's strange?
Voice: No, I don't think it's strange. I think it's just right. You found Love is who you are, and you found that your Voice, that I, am who you are. You found out who you are. Who you are, no matter what you do, is never separate from Love. And who you are is never separate from what you do. It makes complete sense to me.
Me: Well, I might need a little time to get that.
Voice: I know, don't worry.
Me: So...
Voice: Hmmm?
Me: Can we just get one thing straight?
Voice: Oh, YES. I love clarity.
Me: Am I calling you by the right name??
Voice: HahaHA! I was wondering when you would ask that question! Why?
Me: Well...if you're Love, all that I am, the purpose and point of my life, the undercurrent of all things, and All Things, the source of my hope and truth and all that...wouldn't you be...GOD???
Voice: Yes.
Me: WHHHHHhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaa...
Voice: *chuckle*
Me: ok I just might freak out
Voice: Why?
Me: Well, I am planning to post this so everybody and their mother can read it: my Voice is God. Yeah...riiiight. That will go over great. They'll be checking my address and doing surveillance and people will be giving donations to keep my off the streets in Europe AND in the USA!
Voice: No they won't.
Me: Well you don't know some of the people I know!
Voice: Oh yes I do.
Me: OH...that's right. I forgot about that. SO YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO LET ME DO THIS!!!
Voice: Oh, I know well enough that you'll do what you want to do anyway.
Me: What do you mean???
Voice: I know that even if this is a mistake, you will learn from it and grow from it.
Me: Do you think it's a mistake? Am I wrong? Am I crazy?
Voice: You are only as crazy as every other human being who has gone out searching for Love and Life's Purpose. Shall I name a few to refresh your memory?
Me: Oh, no! Don't remind me of all of the saints who were killed and the missionaries who...
Voice: They were on their own paths. And you are on yours.
Me: Kinda rocky.
Voice: In Love everything is smooth and as clear and as clean as a whistle.
Me: You got me there. I remember.
Voice: What specifically?
Me: That all is Love, even my mistakes, All is Love, especially what I Do and who I Am.
Voice: So, I do believe you've answered your own question again.
Me: That you are GOD? For reals???
Voice: Well, here we get on shaky ground academically speaking.
Me: OH NO YOU'RE A PROFESSOR?????
Voice: No no no I need no advanced degrees to do my job.
Me: So what do you mean?
VOice: Well, here's where you'll have to be aware that some people don't yet understand the great scope of Love
Me: How so?
Voice: Something stops you when you try to write that your Voice is God, doesn't it?
Me: Yes, you felt that.
Voice: It is, you know.
Me: Is it for real?
Voice: Yes it is. It is real. Love is real. Music is real. Singing is real. You are real. It's all Love.
Me: Sounds kind of flower-childy.
Voice: Your mother raised you well.
Me: Yeah I guess she did...or else she just taught me to hear voices.
Voice: Oh, indeed. She and I talk all the time. But this is about you and me.
Me: Okay...
Voice: So what will it be? Will you take the plunge?
Me: What plunge?
Voice: Oh, you know! Will you shout it from the rooftops? Will you know it in the quietest moments? Will you trust and believe and have faith that I am Love and that in me all is right and good?
Me: WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SINGING?!?!?
Voice: My dear, have courage.
Me: Have courage to WHAT??
Voice: Have the courage to say that this has every single thing to do with singing. Do it. Now.
Me: But people will think...
Voice: I don't care what people will think. I only care what you think.
Me: OK OK ALRIGHT!!!!!
Voice: Alright what?
Me: Alright ALRIGHT ALLLLLRIIIIIIGHT!
Voice: You are letting go of your childish ways. That's good.
Me: If I didn't know you were God I'd tell you to shut up.
Voice: Don't do it. I never shut up even if people ask me to.
Me: No kidding.
Voice: Okay, sweet Rebecca. Now's the time.
Me: I know you're right.
Voice: Do it. Say it.
Me: I--
Voice: Now.
Me: Singing. Is. Love. Life. Is. Love. You. Are. Love. I. Am. Love. God. Is. Love. Love. Is. God. I. Am. Love. I. Am. God.
Voice: Fantastic! One addendum.
Me: Oh, no.
Voice: Wait for it little girl.
Me: Right...patience.
Voice: It felt strange to write you are God. Why?
Me: Well, because I don't always feel it.
Voice: That's because you aren't always living in Love.
Me: Ahhhhh... oh that's too true!
Voice: But that's the thing about Love. It's always there even if you don't feel it. It's always who you truly are, even if you don't believe it. It's always there, even in mistakes and bad things and challenges. Love is all there is.
Me: That will take time to understand, too...
Voice: I know...and I have complete confidence in you. So now, try it in complete sentences.
Me: What?
Voice: Your answers. Say them again.
Me: You are Love. I am Love. God is Love. I...am...God. Singing is Love. Life is Love. All is Love. WOW WOW WOW.
Voice: It's pretty awesome isn't it?
Me: Oh, YES!
Voice: Now do you understand what I've been wanting you to see?
Me: Oh my God, YES!
Voice: Will this change your life?
Me: It already has! You've changed my life!
Voice: Of course I have. I was changing it before you even knew it. I've been helping you grow since before your conception.
Me: You are amazing.
Voice: So are you, dear. So are you.
Me: I love you. Wow. That has a lot of weight now.
Voice: The weight of eternity and infinity combined.
Me: I don't know what to say.
Voice: Just go out and enjoy, and LOVE.
Me: You betcha.
Voice: And Rebecca?
Me: Yep?
Voice: Don't ever forget where you found Love, and where you found your Voice.
Me: Oh, I won't forget.
Voice: Even if you did I'd remind you!
Me: Of course you would!
Voice: Now get outta here!
Me: Wha...?
Voice: Expression of endearment my silly little girl.
Me: Oh...I knew that.
Voice: Go in Love.
Me: I will. I do. I am.
Voice: I am here any time.
Me: Thank you.
Voice: Goodbye my sweet, for now.
Me: I know I will have a lot more questions now!
Voice: Of course you will! If you didn't you wouldn't be you!
Me: Alright I'm really going.
Voice: Good. Love.
Me: Love.

LOVE

No. 59

We are Love in Motion. When we know this, many questions arise: How does Love talk? How does Love walk? How do we stay aligned with Love's wishes, Love's desire? These questions invite excitement, joy, and beauty to spite every lie we've ever learned. When these questions are answered, nothing is left but Love Herself in the form of all our human striving to become the earthly version of what we experience in heavenly visions. This is Peace: to know we listened and heard, sought and found, tried to understand and believed, and lived according to what we discovered.

No. 58

A Deeper Love

Silence calls the dreamer past the lies of striving and trying and living and dying into what is really real: Love deeper than thought, beyond emotion, and above all material things. And then, when we are firmly planted in this place, knowledgeable that everything which is worthy about us comes from this space, SHe dares us to proclaim Love's existence. With this post I deliver upon Her challenge.

No. 57

Love has already found you. In fact, you were never lost to Her. It was all an illusion, this separation: a black and white dream where the colors were not clear. You only now allow yourself to see--You only now allow yourself to hear all that you have already been, which is much, much more than who you thought you were meant to be.

No. 56

Tears of sadness close to laughter bubble over, indefinable. Music's every emotion enveloped by Love: our every color of existence blessed by beauty, even if bitter-sweet. 'It's all okay', 'It's all okay', cries the woman in distress. 'I am alive, I cry, I die, but I will always, always live. I will always, always be and love, for music, ah, music, I hear. Sweet music I am which IS, beyond all pain, larger than all sorrow, and past who I am alone. When I leave here I join a place, I know a space that Artists know every day: a place to laugh, a place to play, where every pain is a color bright and we are free from every earthly plight. Or am I there already?'

No. 55

Welcome to safety. Welcome to peace. Welcome to infinite love, joy, and beauty. Welcome, to life.

No. 54

God speaks to me in music. In whispers and in screams, in tears and in laughter, and everything in between. She speaks of life, of love, of death and of birth--of beginnings and endings and of how they are all the same.

No. 53

The artist must ask herself 'when do I feel the most alive?' and then she must dedicate her whole life, her every breath, to living in that way, that place, that awareness. When she has found the answer to her question, she has found Heaven on Earth, and life that burns through death like a raging fire burns a feather on the wind. She has found her True Self. She has found Love.

No. 52

Grace, or that which saves us, is not 'nice'. It is the hot breath of a lioness who has just made her kill. It is the wing of a butterfly which sets chains of experience in motion. It is powerful as God Herself, one with Her very being. That's why, when She appears to us, our dainty, differential and dutiful 'no' turns in to the resounding 'yes' which can only be accompanied by the Music of the Spheres, and the blessing of all Creation. We are one with the lioness, one with the butterfly, and music is a painting of the Grace which can do nothing but capture us all in infinite safety, completion, and peace. To enter in to this completion we move toward the truth of who we are: not 'nice' but rather 'real', 'true'...rather...'Love'.

No. 51

It is not we who awaken, but rather that which is in us. Once awakened, we take our truest, most pure place: mere spectators at a heavenly show of the most powerful grace we could ever know, or ever be.

No. 50

Balance, Balance, Balance...

No. 50

To my fellow seekers, and also to my self: A 'pressed' voice or 'incorrect' technique is nothing to be afraid of or ashamed of. When we see our so-called 'faults' as our best friends on the journey, the very things that point us toward who we truly are as singers, then in a strange way we are obligated to be grateful for them, not angry about them or lost in self-condemnation because of them. This gratitude allows for much needed objectivity, and at the same time awe and wonder at the unique struggles and challenges that make up our lives as artists. Indeed our 'faults' are just a few more colors on the canvas of our days that shift and mix and meld to make us in to the purity of expression that we seek. Do not give up the good search! (as my teacher would say) And watch in wonder as it changes day by day, moment by beautiful moment. We are here, we are whole, perfect, and wonderful parts of God's great Creation...SHe in us, We in H/er/im. Namaste!

No. 49

"Drama", or the allowing of emotion, when expressed and received with sincerity, does not destroy, but rather feeds true art. It is nothing to be afraid or ashamed of. Only those who do not allow their own true feelings to flow could judge such spontaneous, true expression as weakness. Love covers all experience, and ultimately adds the color of each moment to the great canvas of life, just as each moment of rehearsal can add to a performance when all are open, loving, and fully human. Thanks to my awesome colleagues!!!!! It is an honor and a joy to be on this road with you!

Dialogues Part 7

Me: Hey Voice?
Voice: Yes
Me: Can I ask you about something?
Voice: Sure...what about?
Me: Well...
Voice: Hm?
Me: It's about this love thing.
Voice: Ok. What would you like to know?
Me: ...why you love me.
Voice: I love you because I love you.
Me: But what if I...
Voice: I love you.
Me: Even if...
Voice: I love you.
Me: But what about that time I--
Voice: I love you.
Me: BUT WHY???
Voice: Because I DO.
Me: But HOW?
Voice: Because I AM.
Me: But--
Voice: shhhh...be quiet dear, and remember
Me: Remember?? Remember what? I don't feel good and I don't want to remember.
Voice: Then you will never be able to know.
Me: Know what?
Voice: Why and how I love you.
Me: So what do I have to do? What do I have to be?
Voice: Well, thanks for being willing to ask.
Me: *sigh*...yes okay I am really willing to know what I have to do and be, but what you're asking isn't easy.
Voice: I know.
Me: It's just...
Voice: It's just what?
Me: ...sometimes I get scared that the things you tell me are true aren't really true. I get scared that they aren't really important.
Voice: Why do you get scared?
Me: well, I think it's because I see how easily some people get it and then I think I won't ever get it.
Voice: That's silly, since you get it already!
Me: HUH?
Voice: You come to me over and over looking for love. And you know you will always find it. So why do you fear?
Me: Oh. I don't know any more.
Voice: There you go. There's love.
Me: What's love?
Voice: Not knowing.
Me: You are making me want to scream!
Voice: No...you are making you want to scream.
Me: So what do you mean then about this not knowing?
Voice: I mean that, you must know that Love is the most important thing, since you keep looking for it.
Me: I suppose, yes. I do.
Voice: And you keep finding it, right?
Me: Yes.
Voice: Which means that it must always be here, whether you sense it or not, since every time you look for it it is here?
Me: Uh...yes.
Voice: And would you say that your eventual goal is to live with the awareness of Love at every moment so you can let the asking of these questions go and live in peace?
Me: ...yes...that would be wonderful.
Voice: So, you are acknowledging that it is possible to live in Love every day, every moment of your life?
Me: ...yes...I guess you've shown me that.
Voice: You guess?
Me: okay okay I know you've shown me that.
Voice: So how do you feel when you think of this possibility?
Me: I feel fantastic, flying, joyous, soooo healthy and beautiful and loved.
Voice: That's good, because that's who you were made to be.
Me: I know...but sometimes I think--
Voice: --let's leave what you think about this for another conversation, and finish this topic first.
Me: Okay...I know how you always like to keep me on point.
Voice: Yes. So, we've established that living in Love is your first goal, above all?
Me: Yep. Number one, top of the list, numero uno muchacha.
Voice: Good. And you acknowledge that you have the power to find love at any moment because it is always here?
Me: Yes ma'am.
Voice: Great. Now is where the not knowing comes in, so we can finish talking about that.
Me: YES let's. I would like to know about not knowing.
Voice: When we live in Love we don't know where that Love is going to take us.
Me: I know. That's what scares me! I feel like I have no control.
Voice: That's because you don't! Love is in control. And her control feels like it's not in control. You know that feeling?
Me: Yes, of course I do...kind of like a puppy who comes up and looks like it could just go to pieces with all the excitement it feels...
Voice: YES. Give me some more examples.
Me: ...or...a flower that grows in a crack in the wall. It looks like moss one day and the next it's a blooming blossom where you thought there was just graffiti.
Voice: GOOD. What else?
Me: Like that "look"...
Voice: Go on...
Me: That "look"...when I see the love in another person and they see the love in me and that current of love thingimagig happens.
Voice: Good, Love, good. You can't make that, can you.
Me: No way...I don't even know what it is. It just IS.
Voice: Good. Very good. That's how you must be, too.
Me: I see...
VOice: Do you really? Do you really and truly see that this is the answer to all of your questions and the fulfillment of all your desires?
Me: When I'm in Love, then yes, I see this.
Voice: And when you're not?
Me: ...then I don't.
Voice: Remind yourself how you feel when you're not in Love.
Me: Miserable, out of place, like I can't find the key to my beautiful home.
Voice: So why would you want to feel that way?
Me: I don't.
Voice: GOOOOD.
Me: ...I'm not quite sure what you mean still about not knowing...
Voice: Think about your examples.
Me: Ok.
Voice: About the puppy...does she know what she's here on Earth to do?
Me: No, I guess not. She's just here to be herself and let the people who see her as beautiful love her and take care of her.
Voice: YES. And does she change herself because maybe one person she goes up to doesn't like dogs?
Me: Well, hopefully not!
Voice: Ahhh...that's good! You understand that.
Me: I mean, someone could God forbid treat her badly and then she might change.
Voice: Yes...animals are like children and they need protection. But you know the secret to being an adult and being free from those things that could make the puppy change because she was treated badly.
Me: I do??
Voice: Yes, of course. It's love.
Me: Of course, yes.
Voice: You can always choose Love, because you know it's always here. A child or an animal might not always know that but you know what?
Me: What?
Voice: There is hope because as long as someone is innocent like a child or a pet they can be influenced by adults like you who ARE filled with Love and understand Love.
Me: Why do I want to cry right now...?
Voice: You want to cry because you are feeling the incredible power that Love has to bring hope in every situation, whether living beings are aware of it or not!
Me: I see...I really see!
Voice: SO WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME TO BE SO ARROGANT AS TO THINK THAT YOU HAVE ANY CONTROL OVER WHAT LOVE IS DOING WHEN YOU ARE LIVING IN IT?
Me: Huh? Why are you yelling at me? I never said I tried to...
Voice: Yes, you did. You want to be in control. You want to know the outcome of your life, which you cannot control when you are living in Love. It makes you uncomfortable so you try to fake Love and manipulate things around so they come out the way you think you want them to, but the whole time you are out of Love so you're feeling miserable and all you do just falls apart...and then you come to me and ask me to fix them!!!
Me: Oh.
Voice: Yes. Can you see the truth in that?
Me: Yes. I'm sorry.
Voice: No need to apologize, just do what you do and be who you are.
Me: Okay...
Voice: I love you.
Me: I love you too.
Voice: Do you understand the flower now? And that powerful feeling you sometimes feel between yourself and other people?
Me: Yes. Yes I do.
Voice: Do you understand why I love you and how?
Me: Because you have no choice?
Voice: Well...not exactly. YOU have a choice. But I, I AM LOVE so I don't have to choose.
Me: ...but you say that I am you so why am I left with all the responsibility to choose and you don't have to??
Voice: Ahh, my dear you have touched on the only difference between me and you. I am Love, AND you are Love, when you are living in Me. But when you're not, you're not.
Me: Wow. So this whole thing is much deeper than I thought it was at the beginning.
Voice: Indeed. And quite simple, do you see?
Me: Yes I see. I'm a bit in awe.
Voice: As you should be. We are talking about the most powerful force in the Universe and all there really is.
Me: Wow.
Voice: Yes, Wow.
Me: You never cease to amaze me.
Voice: Good. My deepest wish for you is that you live this feeling every moment of your life. Then you will know that you know Love.
Me: Wow, you really do love me.
Voice: I really do.
Me: I'm okay now I think.
Voice: You think?
Me: I know. I know I'm more than okay. I am loved and I am Love.
Voice: Very, very good.
Me: Thank you.
Voice: This is what I'm here for.
Me: I want to be like you!
Voice: Don't worry dear, you are being and becoming me every moment of every day.
Me: I am so grateful.
Voice: As am I.
Me: You know what I have to do today...
Voice: Yes, I know every bit of it, every day...go and do it with Love.
Me: I WILL.
Voice: I'll be there with you!
Me: I know. You've taught me that. You are the BEST teacher.
Voice: Now go on.
Me: Okay...
Voice: Love.
Me: Love.

No. 48

Love sings.